As we see it, the ultimate, tricksy, brow furrowing, chin stroking, difficult to solve 21st century dilemma is this: What’s a lady supposed to wear for weekend brunch?
Obviously there are proper dilemmas about wars and poverty and the disintegrating moral fabric of society, but we don’t have a hope in hell of solving those. The brunch one is like Sudoku – if we really put our minds to it, we can probably work it out with a pencil.
The thing is, unless you’re weepingly hungover and need someone to pour you into your tracksuit bottoms and lead you to McDonalds, brunch is a stealth formal affair. You’re still eating fried mushrooms smothered in ketchup, but the mushrooms were probably foraged by an artistic intern curating a Vine feed, and the ketchup has a bechamel quail base tempered with locally sourced botanicals. You need the outfit to match – something that’s all “threw this on AND WHAT?” but also something smoking enough to get the flat white and organic cupcake guy to give you the eye. And something that can stand a little quail ketchup spillage. Also, you’re going to want sleeves. You probably had your arms out last night – come the morning after, the standard practice is that you put the guns back in their holsters.
Where do you go for such a number? One of the Spitalfields boutiques staffed by ‘resting’ actresses who hand stitch wonky hems? Anthropologie, who have many brilliant brunch options for a mere three hundred quid a pop? The situation is frustrating enough to make you turn to gin, stained tracksuits and McDonalds, but all you need is this BRILLIANT M&S denim shirt dress that can be accessorised six ways ‘til Sunday and costs less than fifty quid. As it gets lighter and brighter, your hair can get bigger, your wedges will get fiercer and you can pop the buttons open until the flat white guy’s eyes pop out. On chilly, less reliable days, brogues, bright opaques and a snuggly knit will transform it faster than Madonna was transformed from garter flashing sex lady to Scottish Widow. If anyone feels like thanking Shiny Style for this invaluable wardrobe suggestion, we accept gifts of Anthropologie vouchers and organic cupcakes.