Shake those tassles, baby. This week we’ve discovered a jumpsuit to jump at (but not into a tent, thanks)
Despite every fashion journo urge in my body bidding me otherwise, I am not going to tell you to wear this jumpsuit at a festival.
It may be pure, louche, rock and roll, with its theatrical tassels and Oriental-inspired monochrome like the lovechild of Stevie Nicks and a sexy dressing gown, and every media publication in the country might currently be falling over itself to jam ‘festival’ references into every other paragraph, but I’m going to resist – because everyone knows that the most important criteria for festival dressing is ease of public urination, and jumpsuits are the enemy of the toilet trip. You can do all the artful layering and directional trousers you like, but if there’s no direct route of access for a she-wee at the crucial moments, you will end up with a rep as “angry naked squatting lady” or a bad case of cystitis, or both.
But luckily for the rest of us sleeve-fanciers, not everyone is at a festival this week. Or all summer, even, unless Edinburgh counts. So on behalf of all the indie bush squatters, let’s wear this fantastic jumpsuit to a bar, or a restaurant, or indeed anywhere indoors with proper loo facilities, and give those tassels the shimmy they deserve.