Why won’t Ugg boots die?

/>Lauren Bravo writes:
Ah, winter. The nights are drawing in, the leaves are falling, there’s a chill in the air. We’re waking up to the kind of mornings where you want to get dressed under the covers. Suddenly layering stops being a style statement and becomes a survival tactic – in my house particularly, where we forgo central heating for the less expensive option of dressing like the Michelin Man.

But we can’t complain – this season, fashion has furnished us well. Designers have given us cocoon coats, chunky knits, even that mutant aberration of the dressing-up box, the snood, is back to give our chilly necks a hug. “If only”, you find yourself thinking, “there were some sort of fleece-lined bootie to complete the ensemble. If only I had a shoe so padded that it took my outfit beyond mere realms of clothing, into that of being an actual walking cushion.

“But wait… didn’t we once have footwear like that? If memory serves, it wasn’t so long ago. Indeed, there it is, calling from the back of the wardrobe… like an old, water-stained friend, just yearning to be tramped through the rocky terrain of the Hebrides… or Hampstead… or Jack Wills…” But no! Resist! In the name of all that is holey (sic), PUT THE UGGS DOWN.

Now, I hate to bring this up just when your toes are needing the most insulation, but it has to be said. If ever a clothing item has outstayed its welcome, it is the fated Ugg. Like the boring guest that lingers on long after the party is over, those sheepskin boots have been popping up on our streets year after year, oblivious to the fact they haven’t really been stylish since before Emma Watson hit puberty. I regard them as the flipflop’s winter counterpart – predictable, aesthetically unappealing and a total waste of a shoe opportunity. Why won’t they just lie down and die?

Their place in the hall of fashion fame was dubious from the start. Sienna Miller has a lot to answer for, we know, but even she couldn’t have predicted the gusto with which the women of Britain would take such an unlikely contender to their hearts. Maybe it’s because we all secretly want to wear slippers in the street. Perhaps it’s because we’ve all idly wondered what it would look like to chop off our own feet and replace them with those of Winnie the Pooh.

Or maybe, and here is my Big Theory of the Week, it’s because we’ve become so blinkered when it comes to shopping that we can no longer recognise the ridiculous when it’s sitting on the end of our own limbs. Ugg adversaries have been pointing out for years now that the clue is in the name, but that just isn’t reason enough.

Because fashion loves ugly. It thrives on ugly. Season after season, utility fashion returns to the catwalks and bizarre, bulky purchases return to our wardrobes. Parkas, waders, polo necks, peg-leg trousers. The kind of clothes that make even the most self-confident shopper wonder, quietly, in the corner of an Urban Outfitters changing room, whether it’s all been cooked up as a big joke just to see how far we will go.

Think of Cheryl Cole in that black metal fan affair a few Saturdays back. Think of Madonna at the Met Costume Institute gala. Think of Agnyess Deyn in pretty much anything. We can seek out flattering hemlines and complimentary colours all we like, but the quickest way to earn fashion kudos is always going to be to find something hideous and wear it with aplomb.

But there are two crucial keys to ugly style: firstly, limit it to one item per outfit, and balance it with something genuinely attractive. And secondly, know when to let it go. Uggs, your days are numbered. I know some biker ankle boots that could totally take you down.

Do you want Ugg boots banished? Leave your comments below and let us know.